


Love Me In The DMZ

by hgiel



Category: H.O.T., K-pop, NRG
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 14:06:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hgiel/pseuds/hgiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mysterious gifts are being left in Korea's DMZ addressed to "35"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me In The DMZ

It was on the third night that Lieutenant Kim brought the issue up to General Lee.

“I don’t think I get what you’re saying.” General Lee said impatiently.

There was no blunt way to say it without sounding insane...But it looked like that’s what he had to do. “Sir, each night for three nights now, someone has been leaving gifts in the DMZ.” Lieutenant Kim explained.

“Someone?” General Lee demanded. “Someone is leaving gifts in the demilitarized zone? How is it no one has seen who this person is? What is wrong with the soldiers? We could get invaded and no one would know it!” Before Lieutenant Kim could answer any of the rhetorical questions, he got an order. “Show me what’s been left in the DMZ.”

Lieutenant Kim presented him with the gifts that had been found. A heart shaped box of chocolates, a teddy bear, roses, and more. All of the items were addressed to a ‘35’.

“And the from is always filled out with a question mark.” Lieutenant Kim explained.

“We need to find out who this 35 is...It could be an undercover agent.” General Lee said. “You need to figure this out ASAP. The republic of Korea’s safety is at stake.”

\----

The allusive 35 was just that, allusive. Lieutenant Kim couldn’t figure out who it could be. He gathered a council of the brightest minds in Korea to help him figure it out. Who better to help the country than the pride of said country?

On his council, Lieutenant Kim gathered men in fields of science, law, politics, economics. His niece was also there, but the only thing she was the leading authority was tween culture and pop music.

“Please take your time looking at the items in question.” Lieutenant Kim was saying as he handed out the gifts. “See if you can find any clues to as who this 35 may be.”

It was mere seconds when his niece’s hand shot up. “Oh my God, I totally know.” She said.

“I told you if you wanted to tag along you needed to be quiet.” Lieutenant Kim warned.

“No, I totally know the answer.” She insisted. “It’s Jang Woo Hyuk...You know, from H.O.T and JTL. His candy number is 35 and he just entered the army right? That’s got to be it.”

“Oh my God, she’s totally right.” The physics professor concurred.

\-----

“Are you working for North Korea?!” Lieutenant Kim demanded of Woo Hyuk.

“For the last time, no!” Woo Hyuk barked back at him. “Just fucking water board me already.”

“Why else would someone be sneaking into the DMZ to leave gifts for you?” Lieutenant Kim asked.

“I’m really fucking popular.” Woo Hyuk told him blandly. “Maybe Kim Jong Il is a fan.”

“Here is what we’re going to do,” Lieutenant Kim said, ignoring him. “You are going to wait in the DMZ tonight and we’ll catch whoever is leaving the gifts.”

“That’s a great idea.” Woo Hyuk said sarcastically. “God forbid we protect the country or anything. No, we should have a camp out.”

\-----

Later that night, Woo Hyuk was sitting in a lawn chair with a mug of coffee in his hand, in the middle of the DMZ.

“Hey buddy, any luck?” Someone from behind asked. When Woo Hyuk turned to face him, he found he wasn’t a buddy at all. “Sung Jin? What do you want?”

“That the way you talk to friends?” Sung Jin asked as he set out his own chair besides Woo Hyuk’s.

“I don’t think we’ve even seen each other in the last 5 years.”

“I’m sure we have.” Sung Jin waved him off, then snatched Woo Hyuk’s coffee as if it was an after thought. “I’ll need this, it’ll be a long night.”

“Why are you here?” Woo Hyuk asked shortly.

“No offence dude, but I don’t think those gifts were for you. At least some of those had to be for me. I mean, H.O.T, I get it, that was good while it lasted. But NRG is pretty hot shit...in China. North Korea is close to China. I am bound to have lots of fans there. I owe it to them to be here to meet them, to thank them.”

Woo Hyuk reached into his pocket and pulled out his mp3 player, putting the buds in his ears. “Let me know when the North Koreans get here so I can go to bed.”

\-----

Come morning, they woke up with candy sprinkled around them. The gift was addressed to 35, but Sung Jin thought it looked a lot like a backward S and a J. That is, if your hand slipped while writing it.

“Well, what did you see?” Lieutenant Kim asked once they got back to base.

“The inside of my eyelids.” Woo Hyuk muttered. “You can’t expect me to stay awake all night with nothing to do.”

“Fine.” Lieutenant Kim said sharply. “I’ll give you two chess to play tonight. We’ll set up some cameras as well.”

\-----

The camera was Lieutenant Kim’s iphone. Woo Hyuk was to snap a photo if he saw anything. The army was drastically under budgeted.

Sung Jin was out right next to Woo Hyuk, sitting back in his slippers, with his own coffee. His was from Starbucks.

Woo Hyuk had his mp3 player on before either of them could sit down, but even on full blast, he couldn’t miss his next visitor.

“Hey you guys!” Myung Hoon shouted, plopping down in his own chair.

“What now?” Woo Hyuk demanded.

“Look, if that guy is getting gifts,” he thumbed Sung Jin, “Then I am too.”

“No one is getting gifts.” Woo Hyuk snapped. “I bet the North Koreans are just fucking with is. ‘Oh, look at those South Koreans’,” Woo Hyuk said in a fake voice, “‘Let’s dump shit in the DMZ and see them freak the fuck out’.”

“What was that?” Sung Jin said, coming to alert and cutting Woo Hyuk off.

“What’s what?” Myung Hoon asked, looking around.

With the both of them seeming so uneasy, Woo Hyuk turned off his mp3 player and looked around himself. He could hear what had gotten Sung Jin’s attention then, it was small foot steps, then giggling.

“You guys!” Yoo Min called, bursting out of no where, scaring the three men shitless.

“Fuck, Yoo Min!” Myung Hoon barked, grabbing his heart. “What are you doing here?!”

“I know you guys are waiting for gifts.” Yoo Min said sheepishly. “So I made this.” He held up a home made valentine. It was the crappiest looking thing Woo Hyuk had ever seen. Luckily, he handed it to Sung Jin.

“Thanks Yoo Min.” Sung Jin said as if to a small child showing him something, well, something as crappy as that valentine.

“Where is mine?” Myung Hoon demanded.

“I didn’t know you would be here!” Yoo Min whined. “I got you one too, Woo Hyuk.” Yoo Min told him, pulling out another abortion of art.

“Fantastic.” Woo Hyuk muttered, taking it.

“I made your’s extra nice, since Sung Jin got all those things from the North Koreans.”

“They were addressed to me.” Woo Hyuk pointed out, testily.

“Hmmm, no.” Yoo Min shook his head. “If anyone is going to get gifts, it would be Sung Jin.”

Sung Jin beamed.

Myung Hoon and Woo Hyuk snorted.

“Those are my gifts.” Woo Hyuk said, though he did SO not care even if they weren’t.

“Well, I’m going to get some gifts too!” Myung Hoon informed them.

“Look you guys.” Sung Jin laughed, spreading his hands. “We’ll just wait and see who shows up and ask them. We’ll know once and for all who’s getting the gifts.”

“Fine.” Woo Hyuk and Myung Hoon agreed at once.

Yoo Min stretched. “Well, I’m turning in, it’s past my bedtime.” He said, trotting off.

\-----

Woo Hyuk, Sung Jin, and Myung Hoon woke at dawn with stuffed animals surrounding them, all addressed to 35, from ?. The only photos on Lieutenant Kim’s iphone were a blurry shot of Myung Hoon scratching himself through his pants and a photo of Woo Hyuk’s feet.

“Tonight,” Lieutenant Kim told them through clenched teeth, “if you don’t stay awake, I’ll kick your ass so hard you’ll be awol.”

\-----

Woo Hyuk reached the DMZ to find Sung Jin, Myung Hoon, and Yoo Min (with a sleeping bag) waiting for him. This time he had his own company.

“Who’s this?” Yoo Min cooed once he saw Woo Hyuk’s dog.

“Bobo.” Woo Hyuk told him. “Even if we fall asleep, the dog will bark when someone approaches. Tonight we’ll catch whoever it is and I never have to spend time with you guys again.”

“You are so cute, Woo Hyuk.” Sung Jin said sweetly.

“Good,” Myung Hoon said, reclining. “Set the dog up and let’s settle in.”

\-----

Woo Hyuk woke when Yoo Min rolled into him, elbowing him in the back.

“Get off of me.” Woo Hyuk grumbled. When Yoo Min didn’t move, he sat up to kick his ass, but stopped when he saw a cake towering over them. It was huge and pink, all around it were smaller cakes, all addressed to 35. And that damn dog Bobo was fast asleep at his feet.

“Good for nothing fucking dog...” Woo Hyuk mumbled, then punched Yoo Min and Myung Hoon on either side of him. “GET UP! We missed it again!”

Sung Jin sat up and looked over the new gifts, ignoring Yoo Min who was now crying and clinging to him. “Well this is the best gift yet, I’m sorry I didn’t get to thank my fans-“ He was cut off when music began to play. It was a lot like the music Woo Hyuk heard at strip bars.

Myung Hoon was suddenly awake and alert. “Stripper cake!” He announced.

“What?” Woo Hyuk asked over the music.

“It’s a cake the stripped comes out of, look.” Myung Hoon knocked on the side of the cake, and it was indeed hollow.

Just then, the top burst open and out jumped...well, not a stripper.

“Tony!” Woo Hyuk choked.

Tony stood over them, still half inside of his cake. As far as Woo Hyuk could tell, he had nothing on but tassels over his nipples.

“Happy Valentines Day Woo Hyuk!” Tony said, throwing his hands in the air.

“Gross dude.” Myung Hoon muttered.

“What the fuck?” Woo Hyuk asked. “It was you the whole time?”

Tony nodded, a huge smile adorning his face. “Yep.”

“Well, why did you write from question mark? Why not put your name so we didn’t have to go through all this shit!”

“I put from 7.” Tony mumbled sadly.

“Your hand writing sucks.” Woo Hyuk told him, then turned to Sung Jin. “I told you that shit was for me.”

“Ya, from your homo boy friend, rub it in, I’m so jealous. Just wait, soon the North Koreans will figure out I’m in the army and I’ll get a shit load of gifts.”

“Yoo Min, NO!” Myung Hoon yelled behind them.

Yoo Min was trying to take one of the cakes Myung Hoon had gathered.

“You can’t have them all!” Yoo Min cried.

“I deserve them all!” Myung Hoon barked. “I never get shit!”

“HELLO!” Tony screamed over them. “I’m standing here, nude, in a cake, on Valentines Day!”

“Do you want an award?” Sung Jin asked sarcastically.

“Stop being mean to my boyfriend.” Woo Hyuk snapped and shoved Sung Jin who punched him back.

“Don’t hit Sung Jin!” Yoo Min cried, jumping on the two.

Myung Hoon gathered the cakes into his arms quickly and pocketed Woo Hyuk’s mp3 player then ran off before anyone noticed.

“Forget this...” Tony muttered, climbing out of the cake. “Consider me a war widow.” He said to no one in particular, and left the DMZ.


End file.
